


Ethan

by halfwayhopeful



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Catholicism, Disability, Inter-abled Relationship, M/M, Occult, Paranormal, Psychology, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwayhopeful/pseuds/halfwayhopeful
Summary: Harry Potter has been through a lot, more than most could handle. But are the strange happenings around him the result of psychosis, or something more sinister?
Relationships: Harry Potter/OC, Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Ethan

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic handling an inter-abled relationship. Please be gentle with meeee.

_Past/Ethan_

Present/Severus

...

_Harry looked into the mirror and grinned. Bared teeth, crinkled eyes, the works. It slid off his face, landing somewhere near the black boots his toes were cramped into. He examined the eyeliner he'd shakily applied before coming out tonight, sighing with the realization that it was horribly uneven, and his dance partner may have noticed. He felt like a fish out of water, but what else was new? Being an orphan with an eating disorder would do that to you._

_He washed his hands again, narrowly resisting the urge to wash everything off and catch a taxi home. He'd promised Ron he would try, and he was trying . . . sort of. Going out alone to a goth bar and reluctantly dancing may not be what Ron had been suggesting, but at least Harry was out of the house and meeting new people. In a crowded environment where talking was pointless, and the bass shook your entire body-_

_There was a knock on the stall door, and Harry realized he'd been examining his life a bit long, and in the accessible stall, to boot. He opened the door, muttering an apology and noticed right away that the man who'd been waiting had walking sticks, his black nail polish a dark contrast to the shining metal._

_"Sorry." Harry said again, meeting his eyes._

_"S' alright", said the other man, and his smile seemed genuine. They watched each other for a long moment, and Harry felt like he may have missed something._

_"You can come in, if you want." The man said, shuffling past Harry into the stall and turning to watch him with a coy smirk._

_Harry froze, feeling a blush rise from his chest to his face and hoping the dim lighting didn't show it. This was a choice, he realized. He could decline and try to dance some more, agree and find out what men did together in bathroom stalls, or walk out into the street and catch a taxi._

_He ruffled his hair and stepped back in, closing the door behind him._

_"What's your name?" the other man said, leaning a hip against the sink._

_"Uh, Harry. Wh-what's yours?"_

_"Ethan."_

_"Ah."_

_Harry stared at the pentagram pendant Ethan wore around his neck, swallowing around a lump in his throat. He was fucking up already, of course, and now Ethan was going to use him for a virgin sacrifice-_

_"Harry? You'll have to come to me, it's a little hard to coordinate."_

_"Oh." Harry moved closer and crowded Ethan against the sink, looking into brown eyes and noticing that his pupils were dilated. The smirk softened a little, and Harry was surprised to find that Ethan smelled amazing, like cloves and cinnamon. He leaned forward and kissed him gently, tilting his head a little to deepen it after a moment. They kissed for a long while, Harry feeling more flushed, pressing closer until he realized that he may have been too hasty. He'd never met this person in his life, and now they were making out in a bathroom? Harry pulled away, gasping, and Ethan followed, licking the seam of his lips before opening his eyes._

_"Fuck. Have you ever . . . Do you want to go somewhere?"_

_"What? Go where?" Harry managed, realizing he has hard, and Ethan was nearly there as well._

_"My apartment isn't far if you want to go. No pressure." Ethan smiled a little, but Harry could tell a lie when he saw one. Ethan was pressuring him, gently, but it was unnecessary. Harry'd decided that he would never know what could happen if he didn't try new things on occasion. Like a one-night stand with a goth boy he'd barely met, on a weekday. Was that what Ron had meant?_

_…_

_Ethan's apartment wasn't far at all, but they took a taxi anyway, and chatted a little on the way. Ethan had lived in the city for a few years. He was a linguistics student with a passion for Scottish Gaelic, and had a cat named Geralto. Harry chuckled at that, explaining that he'd never had pets but had always wanted a cat or bird, but obviously couldn't have both. They arrived, and Harry offered to help Ethan out of the taxi, but he insisted he was capable, and they made their way to his ground floor apartment._

_"I think what bothers me is, I used to be able to walk and run whenever I wanted to. And I didn't appreciate it, so the Lord struck me down."_

_"Do you really believe that?" Harry blurted, watching Ethan fumble with his keys, which he hadn't noticed were attached to a chain hanging from a belt loop._

_"I'm not sure. I'll have to ask him sometime, eh?"_

_He opened the door and shuffled inside, and Harry followed. The apartment smelled earthy and was dimly lit. Ethan moved around slowly, lighting electric candles as he went. Harry heard a soft meow from the doorway and crouched to let Geralto sniff his fingers. The black kitten was tiny, with huge green eyes._

_"Hello." Harry murmured, smiling as the kitten bumped against his hand, meowing in question. Harry pet him, wishing again that he'd had pets growing up. Petunia would never have allowed it, being the anal-retentive harpy she was. Maybe someday, when he was out of the dorms . . ._

_"He likes you." Ethan called from the kitchen, fixing a bowl for the cat and setting it on the counter with a clink. Geralto turned from Harry and went straight for the bowl._

_"I've been betrayed." Harry moaned, feigning distress. "I can't believe this."_

_"I can." Ethan chuckled, washing his hands. "That cat's been obsessed with food since I adopted him."_

_"To be honest, I can relate." Harry chuckled, and Ethan motioned him to follow down the hallway. Harry felt a moment of apprehension. He was at a bit of a crossroads again. It wasn't too late to go home . . ._

_He grunted and followed down the short hallway, entering a bedroom that was simple, but comfortable. Pictures of foreign destinations lined the walls, and there were more candles, which appeared to be electric as well. Ethan had set aside his walking sticks and was methodically undressing._

_"Do you have a preference?" He asked, so calmly that Harry nearly missed what he meant._

_"Oh, I . . . No." Harry didn't think Ethan needed to know that he'd only had one sexual experience, and it hadn't been too pleasant. He understood the mechanics, anyway. Mouth, fingers, penetration. He remembered that much, at least._

_"Wonderful! You'd be surprised how many weirdos want to be topped by a cripple. It's annoying."_

_Harry flushed at that. "Does it bother you, when people think of you that way?"_

_Ethan shrugged. "They're not wrong. But it's a power play kind of thing. I'm still a person. My legs are just weak, that's all. One day my arms might be too, and I'll have to go to the goth bar in an electric wheelchair."_

_A laugh bubbled up, and Harry covered his mouth with a hand. Was it okay to laugh at that image? Ethan, in full makeup and goth attire, popping wheelies to the pounding music? He glanced at a smirking Ethan, who seemed to be on the same wavelength._

_He slid carefully onto the bed, wearing only his boxers, and motioned for Harry to join him._

_"You won't hurt me, don't worry."_

_Harry hesitantly removed his clothing and moved to straddle Ethan, being careful not to put too much weight on him. They kissed again and again, Harry stroking his face and shoulders, feeling warm and oddly safe. He trusted this man, who had maybe had enough pain in his life to understand him. Maybe, after this, they could talk some more? Get to know each other better, and Harry could pet Geralto more often?_

_"Can you take my boxers off? I want-"_

_Harry kissed Ethan hard, grinding down before pulling away and sliding down to remove said boxers, and barely remembering to remove his own before taking Ethan into his mouth._

_…_

_Harry had always thought he might die alone. It kept him up at night for a while, but it was only once he accepted the possibility of it that he'd started to make friends. Deacon Dumbledore, then Ron, then a few of the boys in the dorms. Meeting Ethan, and feeling so comfortable so quickly, was an entirely new experience, and Harry sometimes felt he must be dreaming the whole thing, as it felt truly surreal._

_He got into the routine of going to school, doing homework, then heading to Ethan's apartment. Sometimes he brought his homework with him and experienced the pleasure of arguing about literature with a linguistics major. Lounging on Ethan's couch, legs tangled with a wayward kitten occasionally crawling over them was something sweet and unexpected; if he'd told his past self it was possible, he wouldn't have believed it. There was something satisfying about being physically close to someone who didn't know Harry's past. He hadn't lied, exactly, but Ethan hadn't asked for gruesome details, and Harry hadn't offered._

_He hadn't mentioned his parents besides the fact that he was an orphan, hadn't explained in depth the dark years with the Dursleys, hadn't mentioned his resulting muteness or eating disorder. Even now, he had to make a conscious effort to eat a normal amount at Ethan's, not too much or too little. He hadn't binged in months, and was very proud of himself, although the only person who knew about that was his dorm-mate, Ron._

_It was almost easier to be vulnerable with Ethan sometimes, because it seemed he lived a lonely life, too. He didn't have six siblings like Ron, or make friends everywhere he went, like Seamus. People were afraid of Ethan the way they were afraid of Harry; afraid he was delicate and broken by life, when in fact, they both were simply seeking validation and acceptance. It only took a month for Harry to say 'I love you', and he absolutely meant it. He hadn't said it sincerely to anyone but Ron in a long time, and even then, Ron had looked immensely uncomfortable, because Harry was gay._

_One night, as Harry was boiling water for pasta, he heard a loud crash from Ethan's bathroom and rushed down the hallway._

_"What happened?" He blurted, and Ethan smirked up from the floor. "What do you think?"_

_Harry helped him to sit on the edge of the tub and noticed Ethan's leg seizing erratically._

_"Does that . . . Does that happen a lot?"_

_"It comes and goes. I can usually get around the apartment just fine, but sometimes they just give out, and I have to lay here or crawl till I can stand up."_

_"Jesus." Harry breathed, and kissed Ethan's hair on a whim. "I'm sorry, love. Do you still want pasta?"_

_"Are you serious? I want more pasta! I want all the pasta in the pantry!"_

_Harry cut him off with a kiss, but went and grabbed his walking sticks anyway, and made more pasta than either of them could reasonably eat. They ate it all anyway._

…

Severus looked at his schedule with a frown. He only had one appointment for the day, and it was a pro bono consultation requested by Albus. He paged his assistant and heard the exact moment she started bustling through the office. Severus did not play music in his soundproof office and thus it was usually silent besides the turning of pages from either himself or Hermione, if he'd opened the door. Just the way he liked it.

"Dr. Snape?" Hermione stepped into the room and the smell of ancient tomes came with her. The girl seemed unable to shake the smell.

"There is only one appointment scheduled today. I thought we'd agreed to three per day, if possible."

Hermione frowned, but nodded. "Yes, sir. I believe the other two canceled earlier this week. No explanation, both said they had made a mistake and would call back to reschedule."

Severus toyed with the edge of his schedule book, reigning in his frustration. "You didn't think it necessary to alert me of this immediately?"

"Honestly, sir, I had forgotten all about it. I believe they called within an hour of each other, and I had a schedule full of follow-ups. It's odd though, I'm usually so thorough with my notes . . ." Hermione trailed off as she saw Severus' irritation flicker through his usual mask of indifference. "I'll be sure to tell you immediately next time, Dr. Snape. I apologize."

Severus thanked her quietly and nodded a dismissal. He sat in silence in his office for a few moments before re-reading the symptoms provided by Albus concerning his new client. 'Insomnia, Night Terrors, Restlessness, and Extreme Paranoia.' History of Binge-Eating Disorder. Severus sighed and scratched the back of his head, considering. From the listed symptoms, it sounded like Sleep Terror disorder or an underlying psychosis. Either way, testing would be necessary. The first consultation was just to see if the patient would be a good match for him.

Severus was renowned among his peers for both effectiveness and his surly attitude. He was not a kind man, but he was knowledgeable, and his cut-and-dry approach had proven effective with difficult patients in the past. He supposed part of his approach came from his internship in a high-risk behavioral health facility. It was not uncommon for patients to try to kill themselves or other patients on a daily basis. And most of their stories were tragic, but Severus had quickly learned to detach himself and simply do his job.

He'd learned from the orderlies how to restrain a patient quickly with as little harm as possible (despite what the patient may be screaming at the moment). He'd learned to control his facial expressions, as some patients delighted in shocking the staff by graphically describing how they would murder them. It was difficult with the paranoid schizophrenics, if only because some of their theories were plausible enough to chill his insides, and it was a battle to stay stone-faced.

As a counselor, he'd had one-on-one sessions that had stayed with him. A mother of three had walked out of her home in the middle of cooking dinner and been found the next town over with no recollection of how she'd gotten there. She insisted she must have been kidnapped, she would never leave willingly, but there was no sign of a struggle and the children had watched her calmly walk out. A formerly homeless man insisted he'd been stalked by a man in black almost every day, watching from across the park, from beneath a bridge, in the bathroom stall next to him. (He'd recognized the shoes.)

Severus shook himself out of his thoughts and stood with a grumble. He was overdue for breakfast, and wanted a word with Albus before seeing his new patient.

…

_Three months into their relationship, Harry and Ethan returned to the bar in full regalia and made their way out onto the floor, swaying to the music. Ethan wasn't too thrilled with the stares they were receiving. "They act like they've never seen a gay inter-abled couple before. Tsk, rude."_

_"Did you ever dance here before?"_

_"Once or twice. I usually just sat by the bar and watched people."_

_"Did you ever, um . . . proposition anyone else?"_

_"What, besides you? Once, and it didn't end well. He was definitely not interested."_

_"Well, I'm glad you asked." Harry murmured, nose to nose with Ethan and gazing blurrily into brown eyes that he'd likened to milk chocolate more than once. They kissed, Harry pressing closer but being careful not to overbalance. He slid a hand into Ethan's hair, feeling the bass from the music vibrating through both of their chests. Tongues met, Harry shivered, and he pulled away just in time to be jolted as someone bumped him hard from behind._

_"What the fuck-" Harry growled, grasping Ethan's arm firmly to steady him. Harry turned to find a couple chuckling with one another._

_"Did you bump into us?" Harry shouted over the music._

_The girl rolled her eyes and smirked at her partner._

_"I said-"_

_"Shut up, faggot!" Her partner yelled, stepping closer to Harry with a cruel smile. He was much taller than Harry and nearly twice as wide. "What are you gonna do?"_

_Harry felt a nudge from behind and stepped aside, only to see the end of Ethan's walking stick plunge into the man's stomach. He howled in pain, and his girlfriend moved forward. Without another thought, Harry punched her in the chest. He grabbed Ethan's arm and they shuffled out as fast as they could. Surprisingly, no-one stopped them, although they agreed later that everyone watching probably thought they were in the right._

_Later that night, as they lay intertwined in bed, Ethan sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have known better than to go there together. There's a gay bar on the east side, if you're interested."_

_Harry shook his head and kissed Ethan's chest. "I'd rather be here with you. I don't care for the bar scene to be honest."_

_Ethan carded his hands through Harry's product-stiffened hair and laughed. "We should have showered. I completely forgot."_

_"I kind of like you with black lipstick. It reminds me of when we first met."_

_"Oh?"_

_"Yeah. My hot goth boyfriend."_

_Ethan snorted and shifted away, climbing out of bed and slowly shuffling out of the room._

_"Where are you going?" Harry called, to no answer. He sat up a bit, and Geralto sprung onto the bed, nearly scaring him to death. "C'mon, kitty, I can't take anymore adrenaline tonight."_

_"Mreow?"_

_Ethan returned with a small velvet bag. "I meant to give this to you earlier, but now's a good time."_

_Harry took the bag and carefully tipped it onto his hand. He examined the colorful stones and a silver key, tearing up despite himself. "Uh, is this . . . Is this what I think it is?"_

_"That depends. What do you think it is?"_

_"I think this one's rose quartz." Harry said quietly. "F-for love. And amethyst, for peace. And this black one?"_

_"Black tourmaline, for protection."_

_"I could have used this one earlier."_

_"You did just fine for yourself."_

_"And this one," Harry gently tapped Geralto on the head with the key, "this one is for trust."_

_"That one is because I want you around for a bit longer."_

_Harry poured the contents back into the bag and set them on the bedside table, scooping up Geralto and setting him on the floor. "Want to take a shower together?"_

_"There's only one seat."_

_"That's okay. I'm pretty flexible."_

_…_

_"Well, well, look who decided to make an appearance."_

_Harry sighed and turned to face Ron, who was leaning against the doorway with a smirk._

_"Hello, Ron."_

_"Hey, you remember my name."_

_"Please-"_

_"I'm just giving you a hard time, Harry. I'm guessing you've been spending all your time with Ethan?"_

_Harry fought a blush. "Yeah. I guess it's a lot all of the sudden, huh?"_

_"I've seen you about twice a week for the past few months. That's a lot less than every day, or I may not have noticed." Ron grinned. "So, you're happy?"_

_"I-" Harry sat on his bed, where he had actually been packing clothes for a weekend with Ethan. "Yes. I didn't know I was able to have a real relationship. Not after . . . my entire life. But Ethan's easy to be with, and he just rolls with everything I throw at him. He knows about the night terrors, obviously."_

_Ron's eyebrows shot up. "How did he react?"_

_"The first time, he thought I was having a seizure or a full-on breakdown. I explained everything, about my parents, and the accident, and the Dursleys, and he just . . . held me. It was amazing, Ron, I never thought I could have this kind of closeness with anyone."_

_Ron glanced down at the floor and grunted._

_"That's not what I meant, I'm sorry. With anyone that hasn't known me for years. You thought I was possessed when I first moved in."_

_Ron scratched his neck and murmured something along the lines of 'Still do, actually', and Harry smacked him with a pillow._

_"So, are you moving out now? You're wearing a key."_

_Harry glanced down and blushed. "I don't know yet."_

_"Well, can I meet him? You must like him a lot."_

_"Yeah, um, I'll ask him tonight." Harry smiled, standing and hugging Ron for all he was worth._

_…_

_"Well, that was nice."_

_"Hmm?"_

_Ron smiled from across the room and turned away from his desk. "Ethan. He's actually pretty cool once you get past the whole doom and gloom thing."_

_Harry rolled his eyes. "We met at a goth bar. I don't know what you were expecting."_

_"I was expecting a vampire who cast a love spell on you and was going to sacrifice me to the Dark Lord."_

_"Well, not right way. You have to be cleansed first."_

_"What?!"_

_Harry belly laughed, something he hadn't done too often before meeting Ron. "Don't worry. Ethan doesn't seem like a human sacrifice kind of person."_

_"Oh, thank goodness."_

_"Now, blood rituals on the other hand-"_

_"WHAT!?"_

…

Harry Potter turned out to be a thin man with raven black hair and eyes Severus could only describe as emerald. He filled out the paperwork with Hermione and was let into Severus' office shortly after. His paperwork pegged him at a spry twenty-two, but he looked much younger, startlingly so. The only sign of his age were the dark circles under his eyes, which had a haunted cast to them.

"Mr. Potter, it's a pleasure to meet you." Severus stood and offered a hand, watching Harry carefully as the boy shook himself out of a fog.

"Yes, hello." Harry murmured, ignoring the hand and sitting in the low chair Severus had positioned across from his desk, crossing his legs at the knee. Severus sat back down. The boy was starkly thin, thinner than Severus himself, and the definition of his kneecap through his slacks was … concerning.

"So," Severus began, watching Harry closely for any signs of boredom or opposition, "as you know, Albus Dumbledore referred you to me. He thinks it would be of use to you to talk to a mental health professional about your experiences. Have you ever been to counseling before?"

Harry's eyes roamed the room, flitting anywhere but Severus' strong gaze. "Um, yeah . . . After I started having night terrors, the nuns thought I should talk to someone."

"Did you feel better after talking about how you felt?"

Harry huffed, apparently amused. "I never talked to them. I was a very quiet child."

Severus jotted that down, internally frowning. Perhaps he'd lost his resistance-

"What are you writing?"

Severus looked up, noting that Harry was looking at him directly now, with those eerily green eyes.

"I like to take notes in each session, to stay on track through the course of treatment. Does that bother you?"

"No, I was just curious. I've been called crazy a lot, so I think I expect it now."

Severus set down his pen (beautiful, engraved), and folded his hands over his notebook. "Who called you crazy?"

Harry shifted uneasily in his seat, unfolding and refolding his crossed legs. His gaze was wandering again. "Everyone." His said softly. "When they thought I wasn't listening, but I was."

Severus fought the urge to pick up his pen again and write 'brief selective mutism' and cleared his throat. "Have you always had nightmares?"

Harry sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "Sleep paralysis, night terrors, and sleepwalking, after my parents died, and then . . . after. I'm never really asleep."

Severus leaned back a bit in his chair. "Could you say more on that, perhaps?"

Harry bit his lip and looked down and to his left. His lips tightened a little. "I'd rather not."

"Alright. I'd like to clarify a few things Albus mentioned, if you could just nod, let me know if they sound familiar."

Harry hesitated, but nodded minutely after a moment. Severus felt grimly satisfied. He'd dealt with selective mutism before. If he could reach Harry better with this approach, so be it.

"You never spoke about your parents growing up."

Nod.

"Albus mentioned you had night terrors while living at the orphanage."

Another nod.

"Your roommates have always feared you, and you don't understand why."

Harry's fists clenched, and he shook his head.

"You do understand why."

Nod.

"The nuns suggested an exorcism to help you, but the church wouldn't issue the order."

Harry's eyes were closed, and he was very, very still.

"Harry?"

The young man slowly unclenched his hands, and Severus was startled to find they were bloody. "Please don't."

"Don't what, exactly?"

Harry opened his eyes, and Severus was startled to find his pupils unnaturally large, eyes nearly black. "Please don't ask me anymore questions. I'm too tired."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Severus' pen slid untouched off his desk and onto the floor. Harry was shaking and looked quite pale, as if he were ill and clinging to consciousness.

"Alright, no more questions." Severus blindly reached for his intercom, surprised to find he was jittery. "Ms. Granger, please bring water for both Mr. Potter and I."

Harry shook himself a little, looking at his trickling palms as if he'd never seen them before. "Oh my God. When did I do this?"

"Just now." Severus said curtly, standing from his desk and stepping toward Harry, just as Hermione burst into the room, looking more frazzled than usual.

"Dr. Snape, I've had a family emergency. I need to leave immediately."

Severus stared at her, bewildered. Hermione Granger was a relentless, to-the-point worker bee. He hadn't really thought about her having a family, much less an emergency. And he found himself reluctant to be left alone just now.

"Yes, of course." He managed, taking the proffered water and walking her toward the outer door. "Could you call Albus and ask him to come right away?"

Hermione looked concerned, but nodded and made a beeline for her desk. Severus stepped back into his office and closed the door behind him.

…

_Harry woke up to the oddest sensation that he was being watched. It wasn't completely uncommon. Geralto found him rather fascinating, and so did Ethan, for that matter. But this was different. He opened his eyes slowly and stopped himself from screaming, but only just. Ethan was bent backward so far that it looked like his back was broken, eyes glazed and staring directly at him. A bit of spittle trailed from his snarled lips._

_"Ethan?" Harry whispered, reaching a trembling hand to stroke his hair. Ethan whimpered. "Oh my God, you're seizing, aren't you?" Another whimper._

_Harry bolted out of bed, coming around to stroke Ethan's back, his hair. "Can you breathe with me? In for four, out for four? Oh, God." He tried to remain calm, breathing and counting until he could feel Ethan's back loosening bit by bit. Ethan bit out a cry, and Harry felt tears well up. "I know, I know." Ethan's arm flailed, and Harry grabbed his hand loosely, stroking. After another long minute, Ethan went slack, the sound of his sobbing loud in the room._

_"I'm so sorry." Harry babbled, stroking his boyfriend's shoulder, unsure of what else to say._

_"Water." Ethan whispered, and Harry sniffed and went to fetch it, stunned as he stared blankly at the glass filling. Ethan had warned him that he had full body seizures on occasion, but it was something else entirely to see it firsthand and feel so helpless. He steadied his breathing, determined to be strong for Ethan. The man had guided him through several night terrors, the least he could do is be strong for him now. Harry carried the water back into the bedroom and was relieved to see Ethan looked more alert, sitting up against his pillows, ringed fingers massaging his jaw._

_"Are you okay?"_

_Ethan chuckled weakly. "As okay as I can be, I guess. That's probably going to happen more often. If you wanted to leave now, I'd understand."_

_Harry stared. "You want to break up?"_

_"What? No, of course not. I just . . . I don't want you to have to deal with this if you don't want you. I mean, you didn't know what you were signing up for, right?"_

_"I had a hunch it was progressive, yeah." Harry sighed. "You never let me go to appointments, so it's not like I know for sure."_

_Ethan frowned, sipping his water. "Do you really want to know? It's kind of a sad story."_

_"Of course." Harry sat on the bed, reaching to stroke Ethan's knee. "Tell me."_

…

Severus watched Harry Potter sip his water, bandaged hands shaking. He'd rifled through his cabinet and used the first aid kit for perhaps the second time in his private practice, sanitizing the slight puncture wounds and wrapping them firmly to stop the bleeding. Albus was on his way, and Severus was in no hurry to continue their session. He debated taking the boy to the hospital for observation, but was unsure if it was necessary.

He'd forgotten about his pen, but stared at it now, on the floor a foot away from his desk. He hadn't touched it. He knew he hadn't touched it. With a huff, Severus stood and crouched to pick it up, startled when it was warm to the touch. He heard a soft cough from Potter and looked over, catching the boy's striking gaze.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Snape. I don't know what came over me."

"Does this happen often? You may have been disassociating."

"Well," Harry tucked a leg beneath him and sighed. "I don't always notice I've drifted off. It feels like I'm falling asleep. But when I wake up, I've done something crazy. The other night, I woke up to my roommate screaming. I was standing over him on his bed with a math compass. I suppose that's why Deacon Dumbledore called you."

Snape frowned and leaned forward, despite himself. "Do you remember what happened beforehand?"

"I had a nightmare about Ethan, my . . . my boyfriend."

"Does he help you through these nightmares?"

"He used to." Harry whispered with a smile, beginning to tear up. "He's dead now. And I dream of him every night . . . At least before, I could sleep without dreaming. Now, it's the other way around."

Severus stared down at his hands. "Grief can cause strange behavior for years afterward, Mr. Potter."

Harry laughed a little and sipped more water. "I was already strange, Dr. Snape. Now I'm fucking nuts."

…

_Harry enjoyed having his own key, for the sole purpose of surprising Ethan with meals or gifts. He didn't exactly enjoy being alone in the apartment, though. Ethan had explained what all the symbols and artefacts around the house represented, but as a good Catholic boy, Harry was still creeped out on occasion, especially when he had odd experiences while sleeping alone. One evening, waiting for Ethan to return from an appointment he'd declined to attend, Harry dozed off on Ethan's bed with Geralto curled up next to him. He woke slowly, hearing the shuffle of Ethan's walking sticks down the hallway, and called out, "I'm in here, babe."_

_After a moment of silence, he heard the sound again, just outside the door. Harry frowned, realizing that Geralto wasn't on the bed anymore. Maybe-? He watched the handle turn and as the door opened, a shiver of dread wracked his body. There was no one there. Harry's heart thumping, he crawled off the bed and yelped as Geralto came bolting in, leaping onto the bed and hissing at the open door. Harry whimpered and began to pray._

_"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb-"_

_"Harry?"_

_Ethan shuffled into the doorway, and Harry gasped and sank onto the bed. Geralto yowled and fled the room._

_"What the hell is going on? I was calling for you, but you didn't answer."_

_Harry sat, shaking, and looked into Ethan's eyes as he came around the bed._

_"I saw something. Or, I heard you, but you weren't really there." Harry covered his face, taking a shaky breath. "Your apartment is haunted. Did you know that?"_

_"Oh." Ethan said quietly, and he sat on the bed, wrapping an arm around Harry's waist. "You've never seen a ghost before?"_

_"Not while I'm awake." Harry whispered. "I dream about my parents and the accident a lot. But I know it's a dream and we talk after they die, if I'm asleep long enough. This was different. I knew I wasn't dreaming, and Geralto saw it, too."_

_Ethan stroked Harry's hair, and pulled him closer as he shivered. "Sometimes things latch onto you. I'll sage the apartment and do a Break All for you, okay?"_

_"Will that open a door to another dimension or something?"_

_Ethan laughed at that. "I fucking hope not. You're obviously terrified." He kissed Harry's sleep-flattened hair. "I'll protect you, love. I know what I'm doing."_

_"Didn't you have a demon following you around for a while?"_

_"I wouldn't go that far." Ethan huffed. "I have a Ouija board I can never burn, but that's old news."_

_Harry stared. "You're insane."_

_"You've known this for months."_

_Harry sighed and shrugged him off. "I really don't like this. I was so scared, Ethan. I don't know if I've ever been that scared before."_

_"I won't let anything happen to you." Ethan said firmly, standing and motioning for Harry to follow him. "Come on, I brought takeout."_

…

Deacon Albus Dumbledore was a kind, older man with a wizard like beard. He didn't seem surprised to see Harry in Severus' office, but then again, he had arranged for the counseling session, so of course he wasn't. The fact that he often seemed to be omniscient didn't hurt, either.

"Harry, my boy! Lovely to see you here. Now, what do you think we should do?"

"Sir?"

Albus leaned onto Severus' desk and motioned toward Harry's hands. "You've had accidents increasingly often, and now that Mr. Weasley is graduating, I'm afraid our living arrangement is at an end." Harry looked down at his hands.

"Ah."

"Yes."

The room was quiet, and Severus heard the outer office door click. Frowning, he walked out to find it wide open, but no one in the room. "Albus, kindly close the door completely when you enter my office!"

Harry and Albus exchanged a look. "It opened on its own, didn't it?" Harry whispered, and Albus sighed.

"Harry, the church won't sanction an exorcism without evidence that you're not suffering from psychosis or schizophrenia. You'll need to tell Severus everything."

"No! I already told you, and that's why it's started back up again!"

"You can't go on like this forever. Running away from your past at every turn-"

"You don't-" Harry stiffened and went silent.

"Potter?" Severus reentered the room and stared as Harry's eyes rolled back into his head.

"He's having a seizure?" Severus breathed, stepping closer.

"It appears so." Albus said grimly. With a nod, they lifted Harry by the arms and laid him on his side on the carpeted floor.

"Call the hospital." Severus ground out. "He needs to be observed immediately."

"Of course." Albus murmured, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

"Harry." Severus breathed, stroking his hair in a gentle manner, surprising even himself. "I'm sorry, this must be very scary for you."

Harry's breathing quickened, and his lips began to move soundlessly.

"I can't hear you." Severus said with a frown. "Please relax, the ambulance should be here soon."

"I said," Harry growled, in a voice rather unlike his own "Does your mother know you pay men to fuck you?"

Severus pulled back as if burned. "What-"

Harry laughed low and hoarse, and he stiffened even more. "Little does she know, little does she know-"

"Stop it." Severus hissed. "We're calling for help, you need to rest."

Harry continued to laugh, then gasped and bowed back even harder. "Help me. Please, oh, God-"

Albus reentered the room and pulled Severus away, pulling the rosary from his belt and placing it against Harry's forehead. The younger man was stiff, hyperventilating.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name-" Albus began, and Severus joined him.

"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."

Harry gasped and went slack. Curling into himself, he began to cry. Severus stepped back, hands numb with adrenaline. What the hell had just happened?

…

_After nearly six months together, Harry still had a bed in his dorm, but never slept in it. He had a toothbrush and most of his clothing at Ethan's, and stopped by the dorm on occasion to see Ron. His best friend was friendly as always, but Harry could tell that the increasing night terrors when Harry did stay the night were wearing on him._

_"Are you okay?" Ron asked one afternoon, as they played rummy on the carpet and snacked on chips._

_"What do you mean?" Harry froze, unsure of what Ron was hinting at._

_"You look like you literally haven't slept in a month. And you've looked pretty bad before."_

_Harry sighed and wiped his greasy hands on his jeans. "I . . . Can I tell you something?"_

_"Of course!"_

_"I think Ethan's apartment is haunted. He's gotten used to it and doesn't notice it anymore, but it's driving me insane."_

_Ron stared. "He's SATANIC. I knew it!"_

_"No, Ron, it's not the same thing. He messed with a Ouija board when he was younger, but he said it went away! I don't know why it's targeting me, but I'm having nightmares about all sorts of things, and I'm scared I may hurt someone soon."_

_Ron stared. "And you expect to sleep here tonight?" he deadpanned._

_"Ron!"_

_"You've tried to kill me twice!"_

_"I wasn't trying to kill you! I was asleep."_

_"You could have fooled me!"_

_Harry stared. "You're my best friend."_

_"What good is a best friend when you've got a goth boyfriend?"_

_Harry stared. "You're jealous? You're jealous that I'm spending so much time with him."_

_"I'm annoyed that you got a free ride to this school, and have a dorm bed that you don't even sleep in, and you're passing all your classes even though you sleep through them, because they all pity you."_

_"Is that what you really think?"_

_Ron blanched, then sighed, picking at the carpet. "I'm sorry, Harry. We haven't been talking much lately. I just . . . I miss you. I'm worried about you."_

_"I miss you too, fool! I love both of you. Ethan has classes at the same time as me, it's just easier to arrange time with him."_

_Ron nodded, picking up his cards again. "Do you . . . do you wanna talk about it?"_

_…_

_Harry struggled to unlock the door, shifting the groceries in his hands and nudging it open with his foot. He stepped into the apartment and noticed a strong smell immediately, like rotting trash, but he'd taken out the garbage not too long ago. "Ethan! Wake up lazy bones, I brought food!"_

_Harry looked around the living room and frowned. All the electric candles were off, which was strange. That was the first thing Ethan usually did when coming home, and he should have been home by now. Harry loaded the fridge and set a pot of water to boil. He smiled to himself, thinking of how much weight they should have gained eating so much pasta together, but he knew they both had a bad habit of forgetting to eat, and probably weren't eating much else besides dinners together._

_Harry turned on the electric candles and made his way to the bathroom. He saw Geralto pass in the hallway behind him while washing his hands. "Kitty?" he called, but the cat didn't return. Harry shrugged and walked into the bedroom, turning on the light and smiling a little at the sight of Ethan fast asleep. He crept up to the side of the bed and kissed Ethan lightly. "Baby, you're freezing."_

_Harry grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed and laid it over him, realizing belatedly that Ethan hadn't stirred at all. He looked pointedly at his chest, which should have been moving, but was not. Harry stared at Ethan's face, unmoving, and heard a buzzing in his ears as his vision started to tunnel. He heard a muffled sound from the doorway and turned to see Geralto enter the room._

_"Mreow?"_

_Harry began to shake as Geralto hopped onto the bed and rubbed against Ethan's face. Again, no reaction. Beginning to hyperventilate, he scooped Geralto off the bed. "Babe." He whispered. "Ethan!" he screamed, and watched him carefully. Nothing. He reached for Ethan's neck, to feel for a pulse._

_"Oh God." He sobbed, shaking so badly that Geralto fought to pull away and ran from the room. Harry backed out, reluctant to turn away. He shut the door and leaned his head against it, sobbing as he turned away and froze, a scream caught in his throat as Ethan smiled from the living room._

_"I was waiting for you."_

_"You're dead." Harry breathed, and Ethan frowned._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I just saw you, in there."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Harry stepped forward and noticed Ethan's eyes weren't chocolate brown anymore. There were black holes where they should have been._

_"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. The Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." Harry whispered fiercely, and the vision of Ethan began to ripple. "Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us-" Harry held back a sob as the vision started to fade- "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from all evil."_

_The room seemed to grow warm, and Harry looked over to the kitchen to see the water boiling over. He cursed and rushed over, pouring it into the sink. After staring into space for several long moments, he turned off the stove and left the apartment to call the police from the next door._

…

Severus sat bleary eyed in the hospital, wondering just where his life had gone so wrong. He should have rescheduled when he saw he only had one client for the day. Or told Albus to fuck off when he'd mentioned an Exorcism psych eval. Severus rubbed his eyes and glanced at Harry, sedated and asleep. He'd read every file he could get his hands on, talked to Albus and Harry's roommate Ronald Weasley, and thought he understood.

Harry Potter had a life filled to the brim with tragedy, and the poor fuck was only twenty-two years old. He'd been orphaned at one year old and sent to live with relatives who'd outright abused him to the point that he was taken by the state at eleven and sent to Hogwarts as a scholarship student. He'd fared well in his studies, but every successive roommate had requested a room change, due to his persistent night terrors and odd happenings around him. He'd briefly considered the priesthood before opting for a bachelor's in education. Ronald Weasley was the closest friend he'd ever had, and approved of his relationship with Ethan, though he was wary of the man's obsession with the occult.

Upon investigating Harry's dorm room, Severus has quietly stolen the key to Ethan's apartment, hanging on a necklace he remembered Weasley mentioning. If nothing else happened, no harm done. But he had some suspicions.

He watched the young man sleep, unnaturally still. He knew that without sedatives, Potter ought to be fitful and screaming, which, as Weasley described, was an almost nightly occurrence. Severus stared at the boy and thought uneasily of what he had said while convulsing. How could Potter have known about his monthly appointment with Robert? He was a very careful man, making sure to pay in cash and stay discreet while coming and going. His connections to Albus were well known throughout the church, and a rumor of homosexuality could drastically affect his business.

Severus rubbed his face and left the room with a huff to get water from the dispenser. He'd promised Albus he'd stay with Potter until the older man returned, either with orders for an exorcism or alternate living arrangements. He returned and froze in the doorway, staring blankly at the empty bed. Severus set down his water cup and looked around the room, going so far as to crouch down to glance underneath. Nothing.

He heard the toilet flush from the adjoining restroom and sighed, walking over slowly and pushing the door open. The lights were off, but he could see Harry's form leaning against the sink.

"Harry?" Severus murmured, entering the restroom. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"Waiting for you."

"What?"

Harry moved then, stepping forward and closing the door.

"Potter!"

A warm body pressed firmly against his own, and Severus groaned as soft lips covered his, coaxing them open. Potter ground against him, and Severus felt himself harden. It had been months . . . He needed to stop this, immediately. Severus pulled away, gasping, fumbling for the light switch. He turned on the lights and stared. The man before him was Harry Potter, and also not.

His eyes were nearly glowing green, and he was wearing black, all the way down to his boots. His black nail polish was chipped and his cuticles red.

"What's wrong, Severus? Don't you want to fuck me?"

Severus stared, frozen in fear. He hadn't been this scared in . . . over twenty years.

Harry smiled and raised a hand to stroke his throat. "I think you do. You've always liked younger men."

Severus backed into the door, gasping. "Wha-"

Harry laughed at that, and Severus saw the blood dripping from his lips and fumbled for the door.

"Don't worry. He won't remember a thing. Isn't that right?"

…

Severus awoke with a jolt, gasping for air. He hadn't had a nightmare that vivid in years. He jumped out of the chair he'd been sleeping in and gulped down his water, belatedly realizing he must have refilled it at some point, but unsure what all was real, and desperately hoping they'd both been sleeping the whole time. He took a deep breath to stop his shaking and, gathering his courage, turned to face the hospital bed.

"Oh." He whispered, and sank weakly into his chair again.

Harry floated a few inches above the bed. As Severus watched, trembling, he drifted back down.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus." Severus whispered fiercely, standing to come closer. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." So quickly that he felt quite stupid, Severus reached above Harry to smack the nurse call button and retreated as if burned. Harry didn't move a muscle, and Severus glanced at the dark, empty bathroom. With a determined sigh, he left the room and closed the door behind him, signaling to the nurse, rushing over as Albus hurried after.

…

_Harry felt numb as he spoke to the police, numb as he watched the coroner take Ethan's body, numb as he called Ethan's estranged parents to explain the situation. He went back to his dorm and asked Ron in a quiet voice if they could share a bed. The redhead raised a brow, but seeing the state of his friend, simply nodded and got ready for bed._

_Harry struggled not to cry as Ron's arm wrapped around his waist, but he broke after a few moments and whispered, "He's dead, Ron. He died yesterday morning, and I wasn't there."_

_Ron exhaled in a whoosh. "Jesus, that's . . . wow. I'm so sorry."_

_Harry shook in his arms, fighting not to sob and failing miserably. "His parents are handling the arrangements. I've never met them, and today we talked about his insurance and will. He revised his will a few months ago, and he never told me. He left me everything in the apartment, and I feel horrible, because I don't want any of it. We were together for nine months, and I just want to throw it all into the ocean."_

_"Honestly, I can't blame you."_

_Harry sighed. "I guess I should grab Geralto tomorrow. I'm not sure how long I can hide him here, but it's the least I can do. I love that little furball."_

_"Do you want me to come with you?"_

_"I . . . I don't think so."_

_…_

_Harry stepped into the apartment and walked through the entire thing, turning on all the lights. He just wanted to grab the basics and get out as soon as possible. He'd been talking to the police all morning, explaining his relationship to Ethan and how he'd found the body. The coroner's report hadn't come back yet, but Ethan's mother had mentioned that MS sometimes caused an increased risk of heart attacks. Harry couldn't find Geralto anywhere, but he figured the cat was scared out of his wits, with all the unfamiliar people in the apartment the day before._

_Harry quickly filled his backpack with his bag of stones, a few books he'd left on occasion, and a few Gaelic books Ethan had adored. He opened the closet and smiled ruefully at the multiple shades of black and grey, rifling through until he found the shirt Ethan had worn the first night they met, and one of a band they'd discovered they both liked._

_He hesitated before taking one of Ethan's rings from the bedside table and slipping it onto his finger. He moved into the bathroom and grabbed Ethan's clove and cinnamon cologne, sniffing it with a soft cry and cradling it gingerly to his chest. He grabbed his toothbrush and spare glasses and moved into the living room, freezing when he noticed the Ouija board in the center of the room and Geralto curled up on the couch, neither of which had been there a few minutes before._

_"Mreow?" Geralto perked up as Harry edged around the board to sit and pet him. Harry covered his face with a trembling hand. "Oh, Jesus. I can't do this. I can't . . ."_

_He heard the shuffle of Ethan's walking sticks and started to cry. "Lord, please protect me from the forces of evil. Pleasepleaseplease . . ."_

_Harry looked up and saw the planchette crossing the board, slowly spelling out H-A-R-R-Y._

_"Ethan?" he whispered, sliding onto the floor and scooting forward. He watched the planchette move to YES, and bit back a sob. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. Did it hurt?"_

_It slid to NO, then back to YES._

_"I'm sorry, baby. I'll take care of Geralto. I'll never forget you."_

_J-O-I-N_

_"No, not yet. Someday."_

_L-O-V-E_

_"Of course, of course I love you."_

_The planchette slid to NO, then T-O-U-C-H_

_"What? Touch what?"_

_B-O-A-R-D_

_"No. No, I can't."_

_The planchette didn't move for a long moment, and Harry trembled. "Please don't leave me. Please."_

_The planchette didn't move, and Harry reached a shaky hand, straining to spell I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U._

_He sat numbly for another minute, grabbing the backpack and Geralto and fleeing the apartment._

_The planchette slowly moved to spell H-A-R-R-Y, then again, circling faster until it flew off the board._

…

Severus woke to the sound of his doorbell, glancing groggily at his bedside clock and rubbing his face with a hand. It was only 7pm, but he'd gone straight to bed after work, exhausted by several taxing sessions in a row and troubled sleep.

He thought of Potter often, asking Albus outright to keep him updated, which was rare for him, but Severus had to admit he was invested. What he had witnessed could not be explained or debunked, though he'd put forth a valiant effort. He'd dreamt of the young man bent back and growling in his office, of the black clothed succubus from the hospital bathroom. He asked Albus to bless his home just in case, though thus far nothing unusual had happened there.

Severus levied himself out of bed with a sigh and stumbled downstairs, turning on the porch light and glancing at the security monitor next to the door, freezing as the dark form of Harry Potter swayed uneasily on his doorstep. Severus asked himself if he'd be better calling the police or going back to sleep, but he'd turned on the porch light after the doorbell, so the young man knew he was home. And he may have been in the throes of a mental health crisis.

With a quiet prayer, Severus unlocked and opened the door.

"Hello, Dr. Snape!" Harry said brightly.

Snape raised a brow. "Hello, Mr. Potter."

"Uh, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit? If you're not busy?"

"You're well outside office hours, you know."

Harry grinned, and Severus noticed belatedly that he looked like he'd gained weight, and the dark circles were gone. "This is a personal visit, sir. I had to swear to Albus that I wouldn't tell anyone."

"He never mentioned anything to me." Severus frowned.

"Yes, it's a surprise. Um-" Harry blushed. "I wanted to apologize for scaring you. I wasn't myself, I mean literally, and you helped me quite a bit. I just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you, Harry. You could have called the office and left a message."

"Yes, well, also . . . I'm not sure how to say this . . . I know you stole my key. And I know why you probably thought that was a good idea. But I need it back now, please."

"What?" Severus rasped, realizing belatedly that he hadn't told a soul he had, and either Weasley was extremely observant or Potter had looked for it and made the assumption.

"The key to Ethan's apartment. I know you stole it, and I'm not upset. But his lease is up and his parents aren't renewing it. I need to grab everything before the landlord throws it away."

Severus gulped. He honestly hadn't considered that and felt a wave of guilt. This man had been through so much, and Severus had stolen from him. "Yes, I'll grab it. Hold on-"

"May I come in? I need to use the bathroom."

"I don't think that would be appropriate."

"I won't make a mess. I promise."

Severus scowled, thinking. It was highly inappropriate for Potter to be here, and even more so for Albus to give out his address. Still, Potter did have an advantage, since Severus had technically stolen from him.

"Alright, just for a moment."

"Thank you." Potter said with a smile, and brushed past Severus through the door, giving him goosebumps. Severus' body reminded him of the dream kiss, and he shut it out of his mind, flipping on lights as he showed Harry to the guest bathroom and went upstairs to grab the key from his bedside table. It was warm, and he froze, feeling not for the first time that something was off.

He heard the toilet flush downstairs and shook himself, trotting back downstairs into the murky evening darkness and pausing. "Harry?"

He heard a sniff from his left and turned, stilling as Harry's figure came closer in the darkness. "Do you remember what happened in the hospital?"

"What?"

"You kissed me." Harry whispered, stepping close enough to touch. "And I liked it."

Severus pulled away. "You need to leave, now."

"Why?" Harry said, clearly pouting by his tone. "I'm sorry I scared you. I was hoping we could do it again."

"That would be a violation of ethics so severe, it would make your head spin."

"My head's already spinning." Harry murmured, pressing firmly against Severus and kissing him deeply, backing him into the couch and nudging a leg between Severus'. Severus groaned deeply, his body betraying him by grinding against the slim leg. God, it had been months, since he'd seen Robert, he'd been so busy with everything-

"Fuck." Harry whispered as he pulled away. "I've wanted this since I first saw you. I knew you'd be big."

Severus nearly came, and it was belatedly that he realized that Harry should not be here, Albus would never tell a patient his address, what was he thinking?!

Harry's hand snaked between them and undid his button and fly in a flash, delving inside to cup Severus, who hissed in response, bucking his hips involuntarily. Maybe he could-NO

Severus shoved Harry away and lunged for the lights, whirling around to see Harry Potter, but not. His eyes were pitch black and he wore a cruel smile that Severus had never seen on the man after hours of observation.

"I rebuke you, in the name of the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit! You have no dominion here!" Severus bellowed, fumbling behind him for the holy water Albus had left behind the week before. "Leave him, foul spirit! I condemn you to hell where you belong. His soul belongs to the one true God, and you have no power over him any longer!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Harry ground out. "He gave himself to me. You don't even believe what you're saying." A low laugh made Severus' body hair shoot up.

Severus threw the water in an arc, and Harry cried out as it hit his chest. "I have been baptized, and so has he. We belong to Yahweh, and you have no dominion here. LEAVE."

Harry cried out as Severus threw more water, stepping closer. "I said LEAVE, and do not return."

Harry collapsed, and Severus crouched as a dark figure flew past him through the front door. The lights flickered, and all was still. Harry began to cry, and Severus stepped closer, frowned, and crossed himself with drops of the water before pouring most of the bottle on Potter's head.

"Why . . . Why am I wet?" Harry said after a moment, looking up at Severus with a confused, tired gaze. Severus nearly cried with relief at the tired, emerald eyes looking up to him. "Where am I, Dr. Snape? Why are your pants open?"

Severus swore, and fixed himself. "Did Albus give you my address?"

"What? No, why?"

"Is Ethan's landlord throwing out his things?"

"No. I cleaned it out yesterday with his parents. Oh, and I burned the Ouija board."

"Sweet Jesus, Potter. No wonder-"

"Wait, where am I?"

Severus offered Potter a hand and helped him onto the couch. "You showed up at my door and asked for Ethan's key. I retrieved it and you, ah, forced yourself on me. I believe I just cast out a spirit with Holy Water. I've never done that before, and I'd prefer to never repeat the experience."

Harry blanched. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Oh," he covered his face with his hands. "Oh, you must feel so violated. I'm sorry!"

Severus sighed, unsure if he should admit his attraction now, or attempt to remain professional. It seemed pointless now, considering the situation, but Severus glanced over to Harry, who was clutching himself with a hollow expression.

"I never should have touched the board. I just missed him so much."

"You were grieving, Potter. That's understandable. I can refer you to a psychotherapist that specializes in grief, if you'd like. I think you would benefit from EMDR and anti-anxiety medication as well."

"I've been in rehab this past month for my eating disorder, and they tried a bit of EMDR. It's honestly been helpful with getting me to eat again."

"Did you ever attain an exorcism? Albus hadn't heard anything."

Harry shook his head, reaching over tentatively to touch Severus' hand. "I guess I did, just now. You're not a priest?"

"I considered it, but I chose Psychology instead."

Harry nodded, blushing. "I kissed you, didn't I?"

"More than that, but I understand you weren't yourself."

"I dreamt about you in the hospital, fucking me in the bathroom. When I woke up, I felt so guilty, like I'd cheated on Ethan. We met in a bar bathroom, you know." Harry chuckled. "I should have known it would end badly."

Severus ran a hand through his hair, thinking idly that he could use a drink. "Do you have a safe place to stay?"

"I got out of rehab last week, and I've been staying with Ron's family. It was going great, no night terrors or anything, until I went back to the apartment. That place is haunted as hell. I never want to see it again."

Severus nodded, walking calmly to the bathroom and flushing the key down the toilet before returning with a towel. "I'm sorry we've met like this. All professionalism is pointless now, to be honest."

"That's okay." Harry grumbled from under the towel. "I'm not sure how I knew where you lived or sweet talked my way in here, but I'd understand if you'd never want to see me again."

"Well . . ." Severus scratched his head, flushing a little. "I will refer you to another specialist, but mostly because I'd like to see you privately once you get things sorted out."

"What do you mean? Like, like a date?"

"If that's something you'd be interested in, and Albus doesn't start a covert smear campaign in protest, yes."

Harry chuckled darkly and set the towel aside. "I'm sorry I assaulted you earlier."

"I-"

"No, it was. I'm sure you said no, but I couldn't hear you."

Severus frowned, but nodded. "You're right. I accept your apology. Luckily for you, I have a few friends in the social services sector that can help you find a place to stay and sort out your education. Would that interest you?"

"Yes, Dr. Snape. Thank you."

"Considering the circumstances, you can call me Severus."

"Thank you, Severus."

…

Severus woke slowly, a little groggy but nothing he couldn't handle. He paused at the soft snuffle next to him and reached out for the warmth of his lover, pulling the thin man close and burying his nose in the dark hair.

"Mmm." Harry sighed, cuddling closer. "What time is it?"

"Early." Severus murmured, pressing a kiss to Harry's neck. "I had a dream."

"Oh, God." Harry groaned. "Please tell me it's not that kind of dream."

"No, no. Not anymore. I believe I spoke with Ethan."

Harry stiffened and pulled away. "That's not funny."

"I'm not joking. I've never seen him before, but . . . he told me he's proud of you, and he thanked me for looking after you. As if I had a choice at first."

Harry snorted at that and turned around, green eyes searching in the dim light of the morning. "What did he look like?"

"Short dark hair, brown eyes. Chocolate brown, I'd say. Wearing all black and a pentagram necklace."

Harry blinked hard, tears burning his eyes. "Ah."

Severus reached out and wiped a tear away. "You're doing great."

"You're not my counselor anymore."

"That was an impartial observation."

"You've got to be the only man who uses that language in bed."

"I honestly hope that I am."

"Have you . . . Have you had visitation dreams before?"

"Once upon a time, after my mother died. I chalked it up to grief and longing on my part. But it felt so real, and I would wake up smelling her perfume, even though I never kept it in my house."

Harry nodded. "I smelt Ethan a lot after he died. Sometimes Ron could smell him, too."

Severus smiled sadly and pulled Harry close. "I'm glad Albus referred you to me. Even if it was a disaster for the first few months."

Harry sighed, intertwining their legs as Geraldo jumped on the bed and curled behind them. "Worth it."

...


End file.
